


Don't Choke on Your Memories

by nothing_but_a_pastel_fanboy



Category: South Park
Genre: Humor, M/M, Reminiscing, craig gets roasted, how were those not tags before today?, the title doesn't make sense until the end, then you laugh at it, tweek is savage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothing_but_a_pastel_fanboy/pseuds/nothing_but_a_pastel_fanboy
Summary: Craig and those guys go out to Tweak Bros. Coffee for lunch. They reminisce, laugh, and Craig gets roasted.





	Don't Choke on Your Memories

     Craig sat at a desk, waiting for his first period to begin. Slowly but surely, the classroom filled with other students who were grateful their first class was English. The rain outside made it just that much harder for anyone to be considered awake. Mixed with the fact that it was the first Monday back from spring break, the general atmosphere of the room could be summed up in two words: tired and irritable.

  
     For some reason though, a certain blonde didn't seem to get the memo. Tweek walked up to his boyfriend with two to-go cups in his possession. He set one down in front of Craig with a knowing smile. "Morning, I brought you tea" He said before Craig could be annoyed at the thought of having coffee before noon. The noiret kissed his cheek in thanks.

  
"I missed you last week," Craig started. "It was so annoying only having Clyde to hang out with for a whole week, and even he was gone for three days." He complained. Tweek just shook his head and took another sip of his coffee.

  
"It must have been Hell without having me here," Tweek teased. "I, on the other hand had a great time at my uncle's house up in New Hampshire. I even took pictures for you!" The tone in his voice was nothing short of bragging about his trip to the White Mountains, but Craig smiled anyways.

  
"You never know when Satan might show up again." Craig said airily. The couple laughed as the bell rang signaling the beginning of class.

  
     When lunch rolled around Craig, Token, and Clyde met up with Tweek and Jimmy at Tweak Bros. Coffee as usual. The three decided on what they would get during the quick walk across the street to the cafe. They walked up to the counter and told Tweek their orders before they went and joined Jimmy at their usual booth towards the back of the small building.

  
     A few minutes later, Tweek joined the small group with a tray of drinks and baked goods. After making sure everyone got their orders he sat down and joined in on the conversation.

  
"Damn Tweek," Clyde shouted excitedly after taking a sip of his too sweet coffee. "Are you sure you guys don't still put meth in this stuff, 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm addicted." He said jovially. The five of them laughed raucously at Mr.Tweak's scandalized face.

  
"Nah," Craig stated. "Tweek just makes awesome coffee."

  
"Mixing all of that coffee with all of the crazy shit that has happened in this town, I'm surprised that you haven't had a heart attack yet." Token joked.

  
"Y-y-y-yeah," Started Jimmy. "How did you not have one when you were f-f-fighting Craig back in elem-mentary school?"

  
     Everyone laughed at the memory of Tweek and Craig's fight back in fourth grade. "Man, that was stupid!" Tweek said. "I can't believe Stan and Kyle of all people got me to fight!" He laughed.

  
"I can't believe I stood you guys up the first time because of Red Racer." Craig said, wiping a tear from his eye from laughing to hard. Clyde had his face down on the table and was snorting laughter, banging his fist on the table lightly. "That's why you didn't show the first time!" He shouted.

  
"You're joking right?" Token asked, seemingly concerned for all of his friends' mental states. "You ditched a fight, that you were part of, for a cartoon?" He was trying so hard to be the rational and not laugh at the situation at hand, but Craig's nod did it. Token started laughing his hyena laugh.

  
"Remember the second fight in the hospital?" Tweek asked rhetorically. "Yeah, we were separated by the nurses," He explained.

  
"One of them wrote down that there was, I fucking quote, Extreme Tension, between us and told me that we had sexual urges long before it was normal." Craig laughed out.

  
"Oh my God!" Tweek shrieked out between laughs. "She predicted the metrosexual trend here." A new round of laughter erupted from the table.

  
"lets a-agree," Jimmy said raising his voice a bit to be heard. "That none of us should ever slick our hair back again." Everyone but Tweek nodded.

  
"I don't know, I was thinking of starting to slick my hair again, I heard that the greaser look was coming back." Tweek said thoughtfully. It was unanimously decided for him that that was a terrible idea. "Oh, come on!" He chastised, "We all looked kind of good. Just look at the pictures!" He chuckled as he pulled a photo of the five of them out of his wallet. "I still have a boa too!" Token looked over at him cautiously.

  
"Why exactly, do you still have a boa."

  
"I was going to show up to school wearing on some random Thursday, screaming about throwbacks." The blond replied casually.

  
"Tell me when you do, babe." Craig piped up, earning curious glances from the other four table occupants. "I still have the glasses, and pink boa." No one believed him. Craig sighed and took out his phone.

  
     While he was searching through his photos for proof, Clyde asked Tweek if he still boxed. "Yeah actually," The blonde responded. "I'm one of the best at the gym right now!"

  
     His brief moment of glory was stolen as Craig announced that he had found the photos. The noiret turned his phone round to show a photo of him and his younger sister wearing matching pink boas and him in the obnoxious pink plastic sunglasses.

  
"I h-h-h-honestly think everyone in this town was on m-m-meth when that fad hit." Jimmy said through his laughter.

  
"Come to think of it," Clyde said, starting to calm down. "Where did you go when your parents were put away? You were gone for like, almost a year dude." He pointed out.

  
"I never realized that I didn't tell you guys," Tweek responded, surprised that they didn't know. "I was sent to live with my uncle, up in New Hampshire."

  
"Oh, I've been there," Token said. "The mountains are great for snowboarding!"

  
"Well, I wouldn't know." Tweek stated sheepishly. "Where he lives is pretty sheltered from snow, but there is a field nearby. We would go there with his portable telescope and he would show me the different planets and constellations. Now I get why Craig's so obsessed with space." He looked at Craig. "It's really fascinating and mysterious." The couple smiled at each other as Craig pulled the smaller boy in for a hug.

  
"Speaking of vomit inducing relationships." Token said, rolling his eyes good naturedly. "How did you two go from faking it to actually liking it. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who can't see where that line was crossed. Right?" He really hoped he wasn't the only one who didn't know when they became real boyfriends.

  
"I was really annoyed at first to be honest." Craig explained. "Tweek was just so, everywhere at the same time. While I just kind of wanted to be stationary, like a rock."

  
"While I was busy being everywhere at once, Mr. rock here was exactly what I needed to chill out." Tweek chimed in.

  
"After a while, we just kind of decided that we weren't faking it anymore, and started being "real" boyfriends." Craig finished, slinging his arm back around Tweek.

  
"So do you two still get p-payed for being to-together, or no?" Jimmy asked. The couple laughed sheepishly.

"No, not anymore." Tweek answered, looking down.

  
"Not since Mrs. Tweak walked in on us one time." A chorus of disgust erupted from the other side of the booth.

     Once things calmed down again Clyde found the nerve to suggest that Tweek was loud in every situation. Tweek saw this comment as a perfect opportunity to embarrass his boyfriend. "Actually," He started with a smirk that could rival Kenny McCormick's. "My mom came in because she thought this idiot," He nodded in Craig's direction. "Was hurt." Everyone took their time laughing at Craig's embarrassed face as he flipped Tweek off. "Maybe later tonight." The blonde shot back at the noiret’s silent insult.

  
     With another round of laughter, the quintet payed for their lunches and headed back across the street. "For your information you guys," Craig tried defending himself. "He was only quiet because he had a mouthful of dick." Before the rest of the group had time to be disgusted, Tweek had a retort.

  
"There is two things wrong with that statement, babe. Flaw number one; I don't have a gag reflex, and you all know this. Remember the banana eating contest we had at Token's a while back?" He looked at the other three boys for confirmation that the event was remembered. "Flaw number two; even if I did have a gag reflex, you don't have enough dick for anyone to choke on."

  
     Craig spluttered out a weak retort as Tweek, Jimmy, and Clyde laughed as they walked passed his and Token's classroom. Token patted the embarrassed boy's back reassuringly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of buddy." He said while trying not to laugh and running to desk across the room, where he started laughing safely.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering, here are my head cannons for everyone's laughs  
> Token - Hyena laugh  
> Clyde - Instantly snorting  
> Jimmy - Flat but still funny  
> Tweek - Imagine an audio recording of a Pomeranian getting its paw stepped on on accident on repeat  
> Craig - Sounds like a fucking serial killer


End file.
